Tigers Weekly 2008 Season

WEEK 13: 7/7/08 - 7/20/08

Greetings, Tigers Fans!

This is your guest editor, Chas Claus, come to fill 
the void in your Weekly-less lives.  I am finally 
back from living the life of a school teacher in 
summer, having spent only one night at home in 
the last four weeks, having traveled 10,000 miles 
through 14 states in 4 weeks, having seen 
Cleveland, Detroit, Denver, Niagara Falls, 
Oakland, San Francisco, Seattle, Tampa, and 
both Portlands, and having tested the waters of 
the Atlantic, the Pacific and the Gulf of Mexico.  
Now I'm back in steamy, sweltering Clarkston, 
MI, and ready to talk Tigers.

Having stumbled their way to a 4-game split with 
the lowly Baltimore Orioles, the Tigers have left 
most fans continuing to ask the question of 
whether this team will ever put it together and 
make a run, or simply be a highly-paid .500 
squad that never really sniffs the playoffs.  In this 
Guest Editor's opinion, the time to answer that 
question is NOW!  Four of the Tigers' next five 
series (13 of 16 games) are against Central 
Division opponents.  That streak starts tonight 
against a bad Royals team, against which the 
Tigers are 0-6 so far this year, and includes six 
games against the division-leading White Sox.  If 
our boys continue to only play .500 baseball 
through this upcoming stretch, I would suggest 
that it is simply not going to be good enough to 
give us a realistic chance at the playoffs.  After 
August 7, the Tigers play only 3 games each 
against the White Sox and Twins, and will not 
control their own destiny if they're not within 2-3 
games of the division lead by then.

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Week(s) since July 6 issue of TW
Record: 6-5   W - W W L L L W - - - W L L W

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Undy-Five-Hundy: for years the UFH was a 
staple of this publication, as the Tigers played 
baseball at one extreme or the other.  Most years 
we were so bad that the UFH hit double-digits 
early in the season and stayed there (or got 
worse).  In 2006, they were so good that Tigers 
fans could glory in the fact that their team could 
lose every game for weeks on end and the UFH 
would still be unnecessary.  The Editor and I still 
talk with fondness about the 2000 season.  The 
Tigers that year had a UFH has high as 14 on 
June 2, but started winning games - including a 
15-6 run in August - to get the UFH to negative-
3.  They wavered at the end of the year and 
finished the season with a UFH of 4, but the 
UFH was always a great indicator of both 
success/failure, as well as progress in either 
direction.

This year has been a strange one, in that the 
Tigers have played what I call "schizophrenic 
baseball".  Just when you finally decide that 
they're genuine contenders or decide to write 
them off until 2009, they set out the following 
week to prove you wrong.  Granted, it's a heck 
of a lot more tolerable than the not-so-good-old-
days, such as August 22, 2003, when the Undy-
Five-Hundy hit an unfathomable 80 (yeah, you 
read that right - EIGHTY), but .500 this year is 
far below expectations for a club that has the 
second-highest payroll in the league and was 
picked by most experts/publications to win their 
division and make the World Series.

Anyway, as of July 21, 2008, the Undy-Five-
Hundy stands at zero.  Again.

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Up Next for the Tigers...

(All American League Central opponents)
July 21-23    @ Kansas City Royals
July 25-27    vs. Chicago White Sox
July 28-31    @ Cleveland Indians

AL Central Standings...

CWS   55-42   ---
MIN   55-43   0.5
DET   49-49   6.5
KC   45-54   11.0
CLE   43-54   12.0


Tigers Division

LAA   60-38   ---

OAK   51-47   9.0
TEX   51-48   9.5
DET   49-49   11.0
TOR   48-50   12.0
ARI   48-50   12.0
LAD   48-50   12.0

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Tigers News and Notes...
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The Tigers search for a consistently-productive 
5-man rotation continued this week with the 
promotion of Zach Miner back into a starter's 
role, replacing the struggling Eddie Bonine.  As 
fans will likely recall, Miner was brought over 
with Roman Colon in the then-controversial trade 
of Kyle Farnsworth to Atlanta.  In 2006, Miner 
turned heads by turning in a series of 
unexpectedly good starts when Mike Maroth 
went on the DL.  (In many ways, Armando 
Galarraga's efforts this year have mirrored 
Miner's from 2006, in success, consistency, 
unexpectedness, and eventual flattening-out to 
mediocrity).  Anyway, Miner will make his first 
start of the season (he had one in 2007, a quality-
start loss to Boston) tonight against the Royals.  
It's unlikely that he can do much worse than his 
predecessors - Tigers pitching is a combined 0-6, 
with a 4.25 ERA against the Royals so far this 
year.

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Tiger of the Week...
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In all honesty, I haven't seen many Tigers games lately, having been on the road so much. Oh, I've watched a lot of baseball, but the FSN districts have been for teams in the AL East, AL West, and NL West. To give the award, I did a quick statistical study, awarding players a point each for H/BB/RBI. However, the system yielded nothing, as the Tigers pretty balanced week of contributions, with Thames, Ordonez, Inge, Cabrera, Granderson, Polanco, Sheffield and Rodriguez all earning between 6-8 points.

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Poll Questions...
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With only one issue in the past month, I'm sure 
the readership is chomping at the bit to get back 
into action, so I'll offer you three questions this 
week.  Feel free to answer any/all of them...

QUESTION #1 - Lions & Tigers & Belief (Oh, My!)

Texting me from the ESPNzone in Denver, my 
corporate brother Mike informed me that the 
Detroit Lions had revealed their new catchphrase 
for the 2008 season, a slogan he characterized as 
"shockingly queer:" DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?  

* View the commercial in question courtesy of 
the Lions blog, "Pride of Detroit:"

Click HERE for article from Pride of Detroit

Upon hearing it, I pretty much laughed my head 
off.  I don't know of anyone who believes in 
"now" for the Lions, nor do we believe in 
"history."  Personally, I don't even believe in 
"someday" for this franchise.  However, this 
brings up my first poll questions:

#1a - Submit your suggestions for a more 
accurate/appropriate slogan for the Lions, who 
have had a total of one playoff win in the past 58 
seasons.

#1b - What is your answer if this unwieldy motto 
is applied not to the Lions, but to the other cats in 
town - your 2008 Tigers?  Do you believe in 
now?  Flameout?  Playoffs?


QUESTION #2 - Movin' on Up

For Tigers Fans who grew up in the era of Tom 
Monaghan and Randy Smith, it has been a relief 
in recent years to have a GM in Dave 
Dombrowski who is willing to take risks and 
make moves, and an owner in Mike Illich who is 
willing to pay to bring genuine stars to the Motor 
City.  With the non-waiver trade deadline 
looming and with the amount of money already 
invested in this team, and with this team 
languishing in third place in a winnable division, it 
seems unlikely that there won't be a move or two 
made at the deadline.  The question for you is 
this: what moves would you like to see made?  It 
seems obvious that we need at least one starter, 
but what else would you like to see?  Are you 
OK with your current regular position players?  
Does anyone's health concern you?  Also, submit 
some names that you might like to see brought to 
Detroit.  (But please, people, be reasonable!  
Don't tell me that you want to get Carlos 
Zambrano from the Cubs for Bobby Seay, 
Ramon Santiago, and a AAA catcher.  Think 
about teams that are likely to be sellers and 
contracts that are due to expire at the end of the 
year and Tigers that have some value to other 
teams, and let's hear your suggestions! 

QUESTION #3 - Contenders & Pretenders
(a question with actual prizes)

With the season more than halfway gone, and 
with 85 games of evidence on which to base a 
judgment, its time for you the Reader to predict 
the rest of the season.  Who will win each 
division, who will win the wild card, who will win 
the AL and NL, and who will win the World 
Series?  Here are the current division standings 
(including only teams that have even the remotest 
chance of winning them) and the Wild Card 
standings:

AL EAST
Tampa Bay (don't call us Devil) Rays
Boston Red Sox    1.5 games back
New York Yankees    4.5 games back

AL CENTRAL
Chicago White Sox
Minnesota Twins    0.5 games back
Detroit Tigers        6.5 games back

AL WEST
California Los Angles Angels of Anaheim
Oakland Athletics    9.0 games back
Texas Rangers        9.5 games back

AL WILD CARD
(x = division leader / y = wild card leader)

x California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
x Tampa Bay (don't call us Devil) Rays
y Boston Red Sox
x Chicago White Sox
Minnesota Twins    1.0 games back
New York Yankees    3.0 games back
Oakland Athletics    5.0 games back
Texas Rangers        5.5 games back
Detroit Tigers        7.0 games back

NL EAST
New York Mets / Philadelphia Phillies
Florida Marlins    0.5 games back
Atlanta Braves        6.5 games back

NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs
St. Louis Cardinals    2.0 games back
Milwaukee Brewers    3.0 games back

NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks / Los Angeles Dodgers
Colorado Rockies    6.0 games back
San Francisco Giants    8.0 games back
San Diego Padres    11.5 games back

(I include the Padres as having a legitimate 
chance, because this division is absolutely 
terrible.  The division leaders are two games 
under .500.  Based on their winning percentage, 
the D-Backs or Dodgers would be FOURTH in 
any of the other five divisions in baseball, yet 
somebody from this division will go to the 
playoffs, and it's as likely to be the Padres as any 
of these other AAA teams.)

NL WILD CARD
(x = division leader / y = wild card leader)

x Chicago Cubs
y St. Louis Cardinals
Milwaukee Brewers            1.0 games back
x NY Mets/Philadelphia Phillies    3.5 games back
Florida Marlins            4.0 games back
X Arizona D-Backs/LA Dodgers    8.0 games back
Cincinnati Reds            11.0 games back
Atlanta Braves                12.0 games back
Houston Astros            12.0 games back

If you choose to participate in the contest, feel 
free to add any commentary or insight as you go.  
If you want to pontificate as to whether the Rays 
are for real, or the highest payroll in baseball will 
miss the playoffs, or the Braves will never win a 
division again, or the Phillies will choke like last 
year, or the Cubs will snatch defeat from the jaws 
of victory for a second-straight century, or Ozzie 
Guillen will end up in jail, have at it!

***** As an incentive, I will personally donate 
20 unopened wax packs of overprinted, 
valueless, mid-1990s baseball cards, in mint 
condition (except for the card that was packaged 
next to the piece of gum) to the winner of this 
contest.  Crudely-drawn Donruss Diamond 
Kings... chunks of a puzzle that might be Willie 
Stargell... checklists galore... they're all right here 
for you to enjoy!  For the contest, 2 points will 
be awarded for each of the division winners & 
wild card, 3 points for the league winners and 4 
points for the World Series Champion.  1 point 
will be awarded if you switch a division winner & 
wild card prediction.  The tiebreaker will be 
predicting the Tigers' final regular-season record.

Publish your answers in the following format...

AL East = Orioles
AL Central = Indians
AL West = Mariners
AL Wild Card = Royals
NL East = National
NL Central = Pirates
NL West = Padres
NL Wild Card = Giants

AL Champ = Mariners
NL Champ = Padres
World Series = Padres

Tigers' final regular season record: 49-113

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Readers Write In...
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...has been cancelled this week, due to my 
incompetence in figuring out how to log into the 
Editor's e-mail.  He sent me the information and 
password, I'm just an idiot.  While Nic Gilbert - 
the Chuck Hernandez of Tigers Weekly - tries to 
troubleshoot for me, your messages are piling up 
in the Editor's inbox.  However, I give you my 
solemn promise that all of them will be published, 
as well as your feedback to this week's poll 
questions.

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Toolie's Trashtalk...
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...has been cancelled, due to him being 
domestic(ated).  However, in its place...

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Grey Fox: on the Prowl...
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As I mentioned earlier, I have not been around 
much lately.  However, of the last six MLB 
games I attended, only one was here in Detroit.  
The first four were on BRT7 - a baseball road 
(and air) trip to Denver, Seattle, San Francisco 
and Oakland.  On this trip, I finally achieved one 
of my life goals by making it to every major 
league stadium (only with the opening of the new 
Washington Nationals' stadium, I'm still only at 
29 current stadiums).  A quick version of the 
highlights would be having lunch with Tim "Dawg" 
Daggett in Denver at Casa Bonita (of South Park 
fame), getting showered with the burning 
remnants of a fireworks show, partying at a 4th 
of July BBQ in Seattle, suffering through an 
anemic Tigers loss at Safeco Field, driving down 
the crookedest street in America (Lombard 
Street in San Francisco), receiving the worst 
stadium giveaway ever (a light bulb), pool wars in 
Oakland, and more great times than I can write 
about here.  Anyway, those trips will be 
highlighted in next week's issue, where - if the 
Editor allows me at least one more issue as Guest 
Editor - I will rank & run down all 33 MLB 
stadiums that I have visited.  I would also like to 
congratulate Mike "The Colonel" Kopec on also 
finishing his list by hitting all 30 stadiums, and 
invite him to concoct his own list/rankings 
independent of my own and submit them next 
week.

I finally got the monkey off my back on July 9, 
when I attended a game at which the Tigers beat 
the Indians.  Readers who know me are most 
likely aware that last summer I began dating a 
die-hard Cleveland Indians fan: the lovely & 
talented Emily Sawyer.  Since she is a one-in-a-
billion girl who actually considers a baseball game 
to be a good date (no matter how many times 
you go) we had attended about a dozen 
Tigers/Indians games together since we started 
dating, without me having ever seen a Tigers 
victory.  The situation became even more serious 
when the Lovely & Talented One agreed on June 
5 to be my wife.  Obviously I couldn't be 
happier, but I did wonder if the union basically 
locked me in to a lifetime of losing.  The Editor 
even officially requested that I not attend any 
more Tigers/Indians games, for the good of the 
franchise.  July 9 didn't start out much differently.  
The Tribe scored 3 in the top of the first and built 
a 6-run lead by the top of the sixth, but the Tigers 
had a 5-run seventh to close the gap, and 
Cabrera hit a walk-off homer to win it.  While I 
was relieved and the Editor was pleased, 
probably the happiest person at hearing this news 
will be my future grandfather-in-law, Bill Branks, 
a longtime Detroiter and onetime Tigers draftee, 
who is known at his local gym in Toledo as 
"Tiger," due to his wearing a Tigers shirt the day 
after every victory.

Having finally finished "The List" by hitting 
every stadium in the majors, I almost immediately 
undertook a new challenge - that of completing 
"The List" again, this time with the lovely & 
talented Emily Sawyer.  To this point, Comerica 
Park and US Cellular Field were the only ones 
that we had managed to hit.  On Friday, we 
crossed #3 off the list - and it's a good one to 
have out of the way, because it's terrible - 
Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida.  For 
those who haven't made it to "The Trop," my 
advice is: don't bother.  This stadium is one of 
only two in MLB who have non-retractable 
roofs.  Minnesota's is worse, but they have the 
excuses that (a) it was made for football, too, (b) 
they live in a very-cold-weather climate, and (c) 
they have learned from their mistake and have an 
outdoor, baseball-only stadium set to open in 
2010.
   
I would love to give you an analysis of exactly 
how awful unnecessarily-indoor baseball is, but I 
think that two women put it better than this man 
ever could.  The first comment was by my 3-
year-old goddaughter Ella, who looked about the 
window as we pulled into the parking lot and 
declared "Hey, it looks like a cupcake."  The 
second comment was from the lovely & talented 
Emily Sawyer, who referred to it throughout the 
game as "Plato's Cave," pitying the fans for not 
knowing anything different, and offering to lead 
them outside into the sunshine of baseball as it 
should be played.

I will admit that the stadium is probably the 
most kid-friendly stadium I've ever been to.  
While supposedly attending a professional 
sporting event, my goddaughter also rode a 
carousel horse, climbed on an oversize mitt/jungle 
gym, took pictures of herself as a baseball-
playing clown and riding a smiling monkey, 
played free ski-ball, and petted some sting rays in 
a giant tank... and we only did about 1/3 of the 
things that were there.  However, these amenities 
are also the problem - the experience isn't about 
the baseball, and the fans simply don't care.  This 
was a Friday night, the Rays were leading the AL 
East, they hadn't played at home for a week, it 
was $1 hot dog night, the giveaway was a $5 gas 
card for every fan, tickets run as low as $9... and 
they still had fewer than 24,000 show up.  It's 
just a bad baseball town and a terrible place to 
watch the game, and I would be more shocked 
than not if the Rays (by any name) were still in 
Tampa a decade from now.

In information probably irrelevant to most 
people in attendance that night, they also played a 
baseball game.  Jamie Sheilds and A.J. Burnett 
both pitched really well, both #9 hitters - Adam 
Lind and Ben Zobrist - hit homers, and the Rays 
won 2-1.



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Play Ball!

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