Tigers Weekly 2004 Season

Week 6: 5/12/04 - 5/18/04

What a week, what a week.  Who are you, and what have
you done with my pitching staff?  The Tigers, who had
one of the worst ERA's in the bigs not long ago,
pitched themselves slightly up in the rankings, giving
up just twelve runs over six games this week.  The
bullpen was dynamite, as only two of those runs came
after the seventh inning (and they were trailing by
three when those were given up).  Baserunning has been
an issue, but at least the cats are on base.  The win
Tuesday night in Oakland put the Tigers back to .500,
and there are just five games left on the big AL West
bonanza.  The Tigers have held their own against this
division.  They could be here to stay.
 
New Subscribers...
 
Eric "Michael Jackson" Stanciel
Rob "Ray" Borke  
 
(high five for me, for the double hockey nickname)
 
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Week of 5/12 - 5/18
 
Record: 4-2  LWWLW-W
 
Undy Five Hundy:  Hello, you have reached the
household of the undy-five-hundy index.  Nobody is
home to take your call.  We may be gone for a long
long time.  Check back after some losses and we'll see
if we can take your call.
 
Up Next for the Tigers...

May 19-20  @ Oakland
May 21-23  @ Seattle
May 24     no game scheduled
May 25-27  @ Kansas City
 
Nine game road trip.  Let's see what they're made of.
 
AL Central Standings

MIN  23 15  -
CWS  21 17  2
DET  19 19  4
CLE  18 20  5
KCR  12 24 10
 
Tigers Division...

ANA 26 13 -
|
CIN 20 18 5.5
OAK 20 18 5.5
STL 20 19 6
DET 19 19 6.5
MIL 19 19 6.5
NYM 19 20 7
PIT 17 18 7
 
Tigers News and Notes:  Fernando Vina finds himself on
the 15 day DL, and the beneficiary IS... Jason Smith,
the man with the generic name.  First action Smith saw
was on Thursday, and he was picked off while
pinch-running.  I remember in high school, this kid
from the JV team was on the playoff roster, and was
the courtesy runner for the pitcher.  His sole purpose
for the game was to run, and he gets picked off...of
second base!  So I chide him when he gets into the
dugout and he gets this attitude with me.  Uhhhh, I
may not be the quickest on my feet, but I'm sure I
would not get picked off of second base (and no
wisecracks from the gallery about me never getting to
second base).  
 
Also, Lino Urdaneta was placed on the 60 day DL.  He
is the other Rule 5 pick, along with Chris Shelton.  
 
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Tiger of the Week...
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Despite all of the great pitching this week, the honor is going to be split between a couple of hitters. Alex Sanchez has had five three-hit games in the last seven that he's played in. That's pretty spectacular. His average is a tasty .347 on the season. His steal percentage is still too low and he doesn't walk much, but he's getting plenty of hits and bunting better than anyone I have ever seen. He is only a couple of notches below superstar status.

OK, I can't deny Jeremy Bonderman some mention here. He pitched two excellent games against the Athletics, surrendering only three earned runs on eight hits in fourteen innings of work. I think the kid (he's 22) likes pitching against his former club. It's starting to look like Weaver for Bonderman straight up would have been a nice deal.

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Dandy Randy...
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Randy Johnson pitched a perfect game Tuesday night in
Atlanta.  It was his second no hitter (first one came
with Seattle against...the Tigers) and his first
perfect game.  It doesn't happen often, so it was big
news on Baseball Tonight.  They didn't even show
Tigers highlight.  That's taking coverage a little too
far, if you ask me.  
 
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730 AM Picks up the Slack...
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So while 92.7FM continues to broadcast Lugnuts games
to absolutely nobody, 730AM has picked up the Tigers
for the remainder of the season.  Talk about a
no-brainer.  I still can't fathom how the execs at
92.7 came to the conclusion that carrying the 'Nuts
would be a smarter play than carrying the Tigers.  I
think I was more befuddled than I was upset...and I
was pretty damned upset!  Encouragement for idiots,
right there.
 
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Poll Question...
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Who would be your all time team of players?  I want
nine guys, one for each position (no DH, the DH is a
stupid thing).  They don't have to be who you think
are the best ever at their position, just who would
you want on your all-time team?  
 
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Most Despicable Baseball Person Tournament
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The first round is complete, and we've had our first
major upset of the tournament.  The matchups should
get more difficult to decide as we open the second
round in the "Pricks" bracket.  Here are last week's
results from the "Other" bracket.
 
(1) Mo Vaughn defeats (8) Bobby Valentine
 
(5) Karim Garcia defeats (4) Bobby Higginson
 
(3) Roger Clemens defeats (6) John Kruk
 
(7) Steve Sanocki defeats (2) Barry Bonds
 
The Clemens/Kruk matchup was really tight, but the
others weren't even close.  I wasn't expecting Sanocki
to upset, much less destroy, a hateable Barry Bonds,
but the voters have spoken.  Congrats to Sanocki,
though, on the team's 2-1 win over Mona Shores on
Monday.  Sprague, those were some harsh words for the
Crusader baseball coach, and your former superior at
Ross Park.  Better watch out!  Higgy didn't receive a
single vote.  
 
This week: Pricks Bracket - Second Round
 
(1) John Rocker vs. (5) Juan Gonzalez
 
Rocker was absolutely outrageous.  The man looked like
he was going to pop a vein, and threw the ball with
the same intensity.  While with the Braves, Rocker
infuriated Mets fans and much of the nation with his
behavior and his remarks.  Rocker was, I'm sure, many
people's guilty pleasure, and he was truly despicable.
 Once leaving Atlanta, Rocker's career quickly
declined.
 
http://www.baseballlibrary.com/baseballlibrary/
ballplayers/R/Rocker_John.stm
 
Juan Gonzalez.  Grrrrrr.  Any Tiger fan needs no
explanation.  Often would say that he'd skip the
All-Star game if he wasn't voted in as a starter. 
What a wuss. 
 
(2) Ty Cobb vs. (3) Rickey Henderson
 
Ty Cobb, longtime Tiger player and manager (and
player-manager) was as dirty as they come.  If you
check out the statue of him at Comerica, it depicts
Cobb sliding into some base in his usual fashion:
spikes out.  He played the game hard and used every
trick in the book.  Check out this bio, I couldn't
stop laughing.
 
http://www.baseballlibrary.com/baseballlibrary/
ballplayers/C/Cobb_Ty.stm
 
Rickey Notables:  Broke the steal record of Lou Brock
and declared himself the greatest ever.  As self
centered as they come.  
 
http://www.baseballlibrary.com/baseballlibrary/
ballplayers/H/Henderson_Rickey.stm
 
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Game Linescores...
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May 12:  Oakland 2 - Detroit 1
Starters:  OAK: Harden 7IP - DET: Bonderman 7IP
OAK  000 010 100  2 4 0
DET  000 010 000  1 7 1
W: Harden    (2-2)
L: Bonderman (3-2)
S: Rhodes    (7)
 
May 13:  Oakland 1 - Detroit 3
Starters:  OAK: Redman 8IP - DET: Maroth 8IP
OAK  000 010 000  1  5 0
DET  201 000 00X  3 12 0
W: Maroth (4-1)
L: Redman (2-2)
S: Urbina (5)

---
 
Toolie Sees a Ball Game...
 
Game number of three for yours truly, this year.  Rain
was in the forecast, but Mother Nature was kind to us,
delivering warm weather, enough cloud cover, and just
a few drops of rain.  Heavier rains came later in the
day, but there was never any real threat during the
game. 
 
The group of us math folk at MSU gathered at my
apartment and set out for Detroit around 11:15AM.  The
plan was to meet Aaron "Absentee" Turner and Matt
"Waiting" Weiland at the main ticket office around 1PM
and get in there to see the game.  I was going to
purchase their tickets so that the whole of us could
sit together, and then I'd get my bones back when I
met them.  
 
We get to the ticket booth close to Ford Field and we
buy nine tickets at fourteen bucks each for left
field.  Everyone went inside, except me, who walked
around to the main office.  The guys weren't there,
and it was just after one, so I figured that they were
running a little late.  So I waited, and waited, and
waited!  Eventually it was 1:45 and I said "to hell
with it" and went inside.  I missed all of the Tigers
scoring, including a Rodriguez home run (though that
came in the first inning so I figure I would have
missed that anyway).  It sucked, and I had to eat a
good portion of those two tickets that I bought for
them (I sold them to two dudes for dirt cheap, as I
just wanted to get inside the stadium).  Turns out
that the guys didn't get into the stadium until 2PM,
so they missed half the game!  We'll have to make it
work some other time.  
 
I used the money from selling the tickets to get my
lunch, two dogs and a diet pepsi, and found my group. 
There were some real idiots sitting in front of us,
guys that made me realize that not everybody is taught
how to behave in public.  There were many kids in our
section, but these guys didn't seem to notice.  Every
other word coming out of their mouths were of the
four-letter variety.  Though I have to chastise myself
a little.  In my explanation to my friends of why I
took so long, I let an f-bomb fly, but quickly caught
myself and made note of it.  To let it slip is one
thing, but to consider it acceptable behavior is
another.  It just makes you look like an uneducated
fool.  In this case, I think these fellas were the
rule.
 
On the same track, I was reminded of how awesome it
was to be a kid.  This particular group sitting in
front of us looked like they were having a blast the
entire game.  They'd dance between innings, and were
constantly trying to get a "wave" going.  Though that
was mildly annoying, it was nice to see them having a
good time.
 
Nothing really special happened in the game.  Maroth
was looking great on the mound.  The Tigers could have
scored a couple more runs if their baserunning hadn't
been so poor.  That's been a problem of late.  Urbina
came in for the save, and was flamboyant in doing so. 
 
After the game was good times.  We went to the Old
Shillelagh for a few drinks and some gaming.  I shot a
couple of games of pool, some of the guys played
Golden Tee, and I ended up playing a round of "Missle
Command" with one of the fellows in our group.  It was
a classic Reagan Star Wars era game.  Dinner at Hellas
in Greektown (great stuff), and then we finally headed
home.  Got home around 8:00PM.  It was a fantastic
day.  

---

May 14:  Texas 1 - Detroit 7
Starters:  TEX: Benoit 6.1IP - DET: Knotts 5IP
TEX  000 010 000  1 2 0
DET  120 002 02X  7 9 0
W: Knotts (1-0)
L: Benoit (1-1)
S: Yan    (2)
 
May 15:  Texas 6 - Detroit 1
Starters:  TEX: Rogers 6.1IP - DET: Robertson 5.2IP
TEX  101 100 102  6 9 0
DET  000 001 000  1 9 0
W: Rogers    (5-2)
L: Robertson (2-3)
 
May 16:  Texas 1 - Detroit 3
Starters:  TEX: Drese 6.2IP - DET: Johnson 5IP
TEX  010 000 000  1  6 0
DET  011 000 10X  3 11 0
W: Johnson (2-5)
L: Drese   (2-1)
S: Urbina  (6)
 
May 17:  no game scheduled...
 
May 18:  Detroit 5 - Oakland 1
Starters:  DET: Bonderman 7IP - OAK: Harden 6IP
DET  002 001 002  5 8 2
OAK  000 000 100  1 4 0
W: Bonderman (4-2)
L: Harden    (2-3)
 
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Readers Write In...
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Dave "Donruss" Dixon
 
I've got the minor league baseball card of Woody
Williams....is it worth anything?  I remember looking
at it longingly a few years ago hoping it would one
day make me rich....is anyone in Tigers Weekly Land
interested in buying this rare gem?
 
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Steve "Stone" Sprague
 
Mo Vaugh over Valentine
 
I actually found some of Valentine's antics funny,
especially the Groucho Marx glasses routine, Vaughn is
just a waste of space.
 
Karim Garcia over Higginson
 
I have a much bigger problem with somebody jumping a
grounds crew worker for rooting his team on in the
playoffs than I do with somebody being overpaid and
generally a prick.  Garcia is just a despicable person
in my mind and proved it again this year with the
spring training incident, and also with the way he
likes to stand and watch his occasional home
runs.  Hey Karim, pitching is diluted, parks are
smaller and you're a prick.  Just run the bases.
 
Clemens over Kruk
 
Easiest vote I'll have outside of not voting for Sosa.
My hatred for Clemens has been well documented in
this fine publication over the last two years.  Sad
thing is had Clemens stayed with the Sox I would have
been excited for him to finally win a title if he had.
Selling out for a title is a trend I don't like.  Win
one with a team you built, I'm sure it will mean more.
 
Sanocki over Bonds
 
I don't like Bonds but Sanocki is way too full of
himself when it comes to baseball.  I despised him
when he was an ump at Roosevelt Park, and found it
laughable to watch him run Catholic's baseball
program.
Uganski, now there was a real coach.
 
Stephen Sprague
 
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Peter "Rex" Gregory
 
Mo Vaughn.
 
Karim Garcia. At least Higginson has a chance to make
amends this year. And even if he's not quite earning
his salary, he's still playing decent ball and
knocking in some runs. If only he could pitch.
 
Kruk. Tough to vote against a six time cy young winner
who is off to a 7-0 start at the age of 42.
 
Sanocki, for ripping the heart out of a kid, and that,
unjustly.
 
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Matt "Baxter" Weiland
 
Here we go...
Others......
 
Mo because of that stupid rock, and the way he would
twist when he swung always made me quite angry.  Hey
Mo the inside of the plate called!  Quit standing on
my head!!!
 
I have to go with Garcia, Higgy is not my favorite and
almost deserves a vote for his nickmane ryhming with
that cartoon character Ziggy.  Although I was invited
to eat with Bobby one time so I can't say he was a
jerk(long story).  Garcia reminds of the uncle that
you are embarrassed just to be around.  The one that
drinks and pisses wherever he pleases, sign him up!!
 
Kruk is next only because Clemens works so hard in the
off-season.  Oh, and because John Kruk only has one
testacle!
 
Sanocki must move on in my mind.  Striking O'Toole(I
mean the little boy) out is not that easy, I know from
experience if you know what I mean(sorry Matt).  Any
memory that has lasted this long in the mind of now a
grown man deserves to be called despicable.
Peace
 
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Dr. Bob "Markov" Hesse
 
Matchups for this Week in the "Other" Bracket
 
(1) Mo Vaughn vs. (8) Bobby Valentine
 
Bobby Valentine--I know you'll disagree Matt, but
short of Bobby Cox, I can't think of a worse manager
in Baseball that has staying power. I don't know how
many Twins games I watched where Bobby (be it with
Texas or Boston) would snatch victory from the jaws of
defeat for his team and the Twinkies would win. If
that idiot would only stay in the dugout his teams
might actually do well.  
 
(4) Bobby Higginson vs. (5) Karim Garcia
 
Karim Garcia--being an ass to fans is bad, but
pounding on groundskeepers?
 
(3) Roger Clemens vs. (6) John Kruk
 
I'm not sure where to vote on this one. My read on the
Rocket's career moves are as follows: The BoSoxs
dumped him saying he was at the end of career (yet
another bonehead move for that franchise) so I don't
feel anger toward him for that. He went to Toronto for
the same reasons Paul Molitor, Dave Winfield and yes,
Jack Morris went there--to win a World Series ring!
Ditto for why he went to the Yanks. Who can blame him?
 
As for John Kruk, what was so wrong about being fat
and out of shape?  That is one of the beauties of
baseball--that someone can look like that and play. It
gives the normal guy/kid hope for making it big.
 
Vote: Clemens. I didn't like his early end of
retirement. Shame on him for fooling me into thinking
he retired last year. Greedy SOB (Swell Old Boy)
 
(2) Barry Bonds vs. (7) Steve Sanocki
 
Sorry Matt I'm not going to vote on this one. I don't
know enough of the second culprit to make a good
decision.
 
Enjoy your summer of studying/teaching.
 
-Bob
 
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Nic "Gilby" Gilbert
 
1) Mo Vaughn --- Not only does he suck big balls, but
I remember I took a chance on him in fantasy baseball
one year when I first started out and he went on the
DL for the season in like the first week.  Argh,
rookie jitters I guess.
 
(5)  Garcia --- This is the toughest decision ever
made.  I hate Higgy, but he plays for the Tigers still
so I must cheer him on no matter what.  Garcia sold
out to the Yankees, so he won my vote.  Does anyone
know how many teams he has played for now?
 
(6) Kruk all the way --- Since I did the lobbying to
get him in the tourney, I must give a vote to him. 
Come on people, the man has only one ball in his sac. 
That alone qualifies him for the next round.  He
retires and where should he appear?  Thats right on
the worst damn sports show ever.  He redeemed himself
slightly by going to baseball tonight, but come on.  
 
(7) Sanocki --- How could I not vote for him?  He was
my teacher for God's sake.  Not only that but he jewed
my boy.  HEHEHE.  He does get some credit though, he
did replace whats his name as the head coach and he
does have this years MCC Varsity team at an impressive
13-2 and ranked #10 in the state polls.  Not bad, but
not good enough.  Have to vote for the underdog on
this one.
 
ATTENTION ALL:  As most will be reading this, please
turn your television sets on to ESPN on Thursday
evening, and if you have a keen eye you will see yours
truely, Mr Nic Gilbert and Mr Steve Sprague cheering
wildly in the upper tiers of the Palace as the Pistons
try and bring a game 7 victory to D-Town, unlike the
Wings.
 
As I was at lunch today, the bottom line on ESPN was
scrolling by on the television, when I noticed
something that grabbed my attention.  A Tigers
pitcher, Nate Robertson, is 3rd, yes 3rd in the league
in Ks.  Damn I cant remember the last time that
happened.  And to think if I recall correctly, he
wasnt even on the opening day rotation.
 
Response to poll question part 2:  Matt Walbeck all
the way.  I remember attending a game last year at
CoPa and he was playing.  He ended up getting 2 hits
that day and his batting average rose from a
horrendous .086 to .150 or something.  Terrible.
 
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Toolie's Trashtalk...
 
Ugh, these west coast trips are getting to me.  Games
need to conclude before 12:45AM.  But if they're going
to go into the wee hours of the morning, the least the
Tigers can do for this fan is win.  MLB radio kept me
on the "in" with this last game, but it keeps konking
out on me and I have to reload.  That's particularly
annoying when it happens in the middle of a tense
situation.  The beast usually takes a couple of
minutes to reload.  
 
I forgot to include a hilarious quote from my dad that
he uttered two weekends ago.  We were out washing my
car and listening to the Tigers vs. Rangers game (the
Sunday game in Texas).  In the eighth inning, Trammell
makes the call to the pen.  Here is what transpired.
 
Dan Dickerson, voice of the Tigers:  "He's (Tram) not
taking any chances, he's going to the bullpen." 
 
Dad:  Whaddaya mean, "not taking any chances?"  
 
At the time, the bullpen had been struggling (the
16-15 game had been the night before).  Maybe it was
the way he said it, but I guffawed at the comment. 
Good ole dad.  Nothing like washing the car and
listening to the game with Teeter Babe...except maybe
catching a game with Teeter Babe.
 
Dear Karl Ravech:  I STILL hate "Hats off to Jim
Thome."  What a stupid call.  The only time I want to
hear "Hats off" is when it's followed by "... ladies,
here comes our flag" or "...to Larry."  I like Karl
Ravech whenever he's not saying that.  When he does
say it, my blood boils.  I wonder how others like that
call?  
 
Today, the "check gages" light came on in my car, as
the needle was pushing "E".  Yes, I know the word is
spelled incorrectly, but that's what it says in the
car.  With the way things are these days, I think I
will remodel my dash so that the light reads "check
wallet."  Two bucks a gallon.  What am I buying here,
milk?
 
If you've visited the "Weekly on the Web" link that's
at the end of every issue and found the layout a bit
strange, make a return visit.  Gilby has done some
fine work on the site, and it's complete with frames
and nicer formatting.  The site is looking good.  Nice
work Gilbo.  
 
From the crybaby department, Keith Foulke of the Red
Sox is attributing some of the Sox recent struggles to
uncomfortable seats in their charter jet.  Keith,
Keith, Keith.  What is the point of making that
statement?  I hope that the man wasn't looking for
sympathy.  But I suppose that he must feel it to be a
big problem, or else he wouldn't bring it up.  It is a
pathetic excuse, and making it would make one look
bad.  So either Foulke didn't think things through, or
it's really a problem.  Still, who is going to feel
sorry for this millionaire?
 
Summer teaching has started.  Not too much reaction
from the class when I make attempts at humor.  It
could be that I'm not funny, but I'm sure that's not
the case.  Once they warm up to me, we should have
some good times.  
 
So Claus wants me to argue with you people more, but
as I see it now, there's nothing to argue about.  Most
people are just responding with their votes, which is
fine.  I usually have plenty to write about without
getting into an argument, but if somebody brings up a
point that I disagree with, you can be sure I'll let
my voice be heard.  It is, after all, my newsletter.
 
Dixon, I have a Michael Jordan minor league card.  I
doubt that it will be worth more than what I paid for
the pack.  I have to say that I was pretty happy that
Jordan failed in his attempt to make it as a baseball
player.  Talk about an ego.  Just imagine if Jordan
had been successful with that.  We would never hear
the end of how awesome Jordan is.  Looking back on his
career, he was great.  But boy I couldn't stand him
when he was in his prime.  Sorry Mike, you are no Bo.
 
I have gotten all sorts of offers lately to go see
games.  I have at least three different parties that I
need to coordinate trips with, and this is great.  I
love getting to the park.  The drive is a little long,
but it's worth it to not be so close to Detroit the
rest of the time.  In my eyes, the west side of the
state dominates the east. 
 
Ooooh, I've got to punch the sack.  Tigers looking
good this week.  I sure will be glad when they start
playing teams other than from the west.  They still
have not played KC or Chicago.  Lots of division games
to come.
 
Weiland and Turner, though you were late and also
missed a good deal of the game, I feel like I got
jobbed.  We'll make this game up, though.  No hard
feelings.
 
I'm out.
 





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